On my fourteenth birthday, the only desire I had was the desperate longing that the boy I had a crush on might notice me or touch my hands as he walked past. I guess I was an unrepentant romantic and a dreamer but I could never have imagined that my dreams a year later would soon be shattered, my mind pierced and my body violated by the same boy I dreamed of day and night.
I was petit and short but quite pretty or so I thought with long straight silky hair set against a very dark skin which was why boys never noticed me. But whatever it was that I lost in looks, I made up academically for I was arguably the best student in my class.
You see, Mokela High School was practically run by a group of boys and girls who go by the name 'The Elites' and who believe they are more privileged than others and the most prominent among them was a boy named Martin Oru.
Martin, to be frank, was insanely good looking and girls go crazy by merely seeing him and as far as most girls in my school are concerned, he was a 'man-god' and when you're a 'god', you only notice people that are in your league. But to me, Martin was an egoistical idiot who ignores everyone except the 'A' crowd.
Okay, I will admit he is hot but that doesn't remove the fact that he was a big jerk who only fancies girls with big breasts and mini skirts.
I was never part of their league. First, I don't slate my face with make-up every morning to attract boys and my skirts are always way down below my knee, to cap it all, I spend most of my time studying to maintain my grades as I was indeed a grade-obsessed freak! This also meant that I have to wear my reading glasses most of the time. So I was a certified nerd.
That was why I didn't understand my crush on Martin, but the heart wants what it wants so they say.
I could never forget that faithful Monday he came and sat next to me...
"Morning Gabriella," He said with a slight grin, exuding confidence.
What does the jerk want now, I thought casually with a frown. He must be sick in his head because we have never spoken to each other even when we are both in the same class.
Unfortunately for him, Mr. Lawrence, our Chemistry teacher walked in at the same time to give us back our answer scripts on a recent text.
"Gabriella Okaro," he called loudly and I quickly got up to collect my answer sheet. Oh, I didn't do badly at all, 92% is still an 'A' right? I thought quietly with a smile as I went back to my seat, wondering what Martin was still doing on my desk.
"Miss Okaro." The teacher called once again. "Please I would like to have a quick word with you and Martin." He said casually as the whole class turned to look at us suspiciously.
"What did I do now?" I thought worriedly. "Is he going to tell me 92% is not a good score or that I'm failing in my grades?
"You're at the borderline in your scores Martin, not just in Chemistry but in other subjects. So I've decided that you need a bit of coaching, especially in Chemistry and I want Miss Okaro to help you out." He said quietly when he came over to my desk.
"Whoa, so it wasn't my grade that's in jeopardy, but rather that of Mr. Big stuff. Talk about a reverse in the situation." I thought quietly with a grin as he stood there like a wood, nodding sheepishly.
"Umm, is that necessary sir? I can study on my own." He asked quietly after a long pause.
"You and Miss Okaro will meet immediately after school to choose the appropriate time for the tutoring." Mr. Lawrence insisted, ignoring him completely.
I could see he was embarrassed and would have preferred I wasn't there but there was nothing he could do as Mr. Lawrence had the full backing of the school management to monitor the student's academic progress.
"But sir, what about basketball practice?" He asked desperately.
"You'll do that afterward." He said dismissively and I could see he didn't didn't like the idea of being tutored by me,
It was at that moment that I caught in. I know for a fact that basketball practice went from 2.30 pm to 4.00 pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and my bus usually leaves at 5.00 o'clock. That gives us an hour but the problem was that the school premises is usually empty at this time, and I wouldn't want to be left alone with him.
"Umm, sir, my bus..." I tried to explain but apparently, Mr. Lawrence had better things to do than to stick around and listen to inconsequential excuses from either of us.
'I'll be checking up on you from time to time to see what you've accomplished." He said urgently, completely cutting me off.
"I guess we can have the class after your practice," I said reluctantly after he left.
Martin just stared at me in disbelief with his big brown eyes, almost as if he resented me for saying so, and I must confess, it did upset me.
"Yeah, sure, whatever." He mumbled quietly.
His answer and attitude were quite annoying, to say the least. Who is the person giving up her time just to make him pass his exams? Me, that's who. I fumed inwardly.
"Okay, so I'll...meet you in Chemistry Laboratory at 4.10 pm every day. Does that give you enough time to, I don't know, freshen up and gather your stuff together? I asked resignedly.
He just nodded and walked away, leaving me to talk to myself like an idiot. The problem with me is that I'm way too nice to people even when they don't deserve it.
Our first schedule came a week later. For some reason, I wasn't up to it because I was mentally tired after studying so hard but I was still able to get there before him, partly because I was looking forward to having him close to me.
Being the dork that I was, I didn't notice how fast time had flown by as I waited for him to arrive. Then twenty minutes later I saw him heading towards me, his hair still very damp after the shower he took recently which made him look so adorable.
"Hi, I said awkwardly as he quickly flipped a chair back and sat next to me.
I quietly passed him a hand-written quiz I had carefully prepared for the past hour when he didn't respond.
"I want you to take this quiz so that I can figure out your weakness and where we need to concentrate on," I said casually, passing the paper over to him.
He just looked at me as if I was stupid or something.
"How do you expect me to do this when I don't have a pencil?" He asked arrogantly, pushing the paper back to me.
I tried to laugh at his stupidity as I leaned over to pull my pencil case out of my school bag and beckoned on him to begin the text as I went back to my work to give him space.
Suddenly, I felt something on my lap. Thinking it was a fly, I tried to knock it off when our eyes met.
"Martin, I said hesitantly as I held his hands. You had better concentrate on what you're doing but surprisingly my voice was weak.
"Maybe, if you stopped paying too much attention to academics, you might even have a bit of fun like most of the other girls," He said with a throaty laugh as he continued to stroke my lap.
Surprisingly I became weak as my body suddenly felt heavy and, to be honest, a part of me wanted him to continue.
I guess he must have seen the green light in my eyes as he quickly moved closer.
"I need to go, Martin," I said hurriedly as I suddenly got hold of myself, resisting him with every bit of strength I had left.
How those words carried no value. I remembered the shuddering, the paralysis, and the terror when he completely overpowered me as I struggled to pull away but his strong arms wouldn't let me.
Left completely powerless, I stared into the eyes of the boy that I once thought were so beautiful, and at that moment, all I felt was hatred, pain, and anguish, my blood boiled and my skin was sweaty; I didn't understand it at all, it was as if I was hallucinating as his strong body pinned me to the floor and in that instant, two sultry tears rolled down my eyes, and then a thousand tears!
Within seconds, it was all over as I scrambled up in tears, totally exhausted. I felt humiliated, violated, disgusted, and ashamed as I picked up my thorn undies where he had left them.
"Don't forget I'll deny it if you ever mention this to anyone," He warned menacingly as I walked out of the Laboratory in humiliation.
Even without him saying so, I knew I couldn't tell a soul what happened to me, not even to my parents. I couldn't live with the shame. It was a burden I had to carry all my life as I began to isolate myself from everyone else. I no longer felt young as my childhood innocence was brutally ripped from me by a boy I once loved.
All I ever wanted was to be loved by Prince Charming like every other girl of my age but I ended up getting burnt.
Why I have chosen to write this story is for young girls to be weary of who they crush on and if by doing so I have helped to save one person from going through what I did, then I am satisfied.
Moreover, in the course of time, I've realized the biggest mistake I made was not reporting him to the school authority, as two more girls in my school suffered the same fate before he was found out.
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